Merry Christmas, where's my floor?

I can't find it. I find battery wrappers, little bits of cookie crumbs, smushed bows, discarded instructions, balls of tissue paper, empty candy wrappers, shredded parts of wrapping paper, discarded remains of a helicopter box, clothing boxes, racecar track, various sizes of cars, mini air hockey game, coloring books, colored pencils, various Spiderman gadgets, miscellaneous board games ........ but no floor. It'll be next Christmas before I can clear a path to my tree to put away ornaments and store the tree!!!

I was given many lovely bath scents, scented body lotions, colognes, scented candles and bath soaps. Each one smelling more beautiful than the last. But now I wonder, do I need to get stronger deodorant? Are they trying to send me a subtle message? Do I stink???

Mom & Dad gave me a new drug for my children. You can buy this at Wal-Mart among other places, usually on sale if you watch for them. No Rx needed. It's called "DVD/VCR combo". It's a miracle drug. It instantly stops fights the minute you plug it in & turn it on. It's easy to hook-up, one push of a button and it's turned on. I love it.

Only one problem - it's just like the Rx with the childproof cap that only a kid can get off...... I got it hooked up, no problem, got the DVD in it and when I looked at my TV screen, I froze. What the heck is that? The 10 year old alien, exasperated, took the remote from my frozen hand and said, "Push this one Mom" then handed it back to me with a sigh and a shake of his head. Where the hell did he learn to work one of these?? We've never had one! Don't laugh at me, I'm the one person on the block that COULD set the clock on the last VCR we had. What's wrong with me that I can't figure out this thing? I'm officially a dork in my kids eyes.......... I have reached a new height (or a new low?) in parenthood.