Ok, so without going into detail that enters the "TMI" zone, I have done something that I really should feel guilty about. Everything I've ever been taught by my parents, my church, others I respect & love, tells me I should feel guilty. I didn't do anything horrible or hurt anyone, but a small measure of guilt would be appropriate. I don't feel guilty. And I don't care that I don't feel guilty. Should I feel guilty about not feeling guilty? 'Cause I don't.
I'd love to talk with a couple of my good friends about this, but I think they'd be horrified at my small misstep. To them it would probably look like a major fall from God's grace and theirs as well. I'd like to just say, "Listen, I'm human & I make mistakes sometimes. Sometimes I don't do exactly the right thing. Sometimes I completely screw up. And guess what? Sometimes I do things that are downright stupid! So what? Deal with it."
I won't because that's too rude for me to say to those I care about. Because I don't really feel like I can discuss this with those closest to me, I'm feeling very odd. It's hard to describe, I seem to be thinking more & more about what I really believe.
I'm starting to question if what I have been taught is "wrong" or "right" or "justified" really is what I've always thought it was. Did I ever really think/believe something was a particular way or did I just blindly accept it was because that's what I was told. Guess this sounds like I'm feeling down, actually I'm learning more about myself than ever before & I like it. It's kind of a peaceful feeling to just quietly analyze things sometimes. How weird is that?
6 years ago
5 comments:
I think we all have been subject to too much warrantless guilt these days.
I agree - maybe that's why I'm not feeling guilty, just human.
guilt is a funny thing. you can feel guily for not feeling guilty, and that makes total sense to me!
I may be way off (and way out of line here) but if you did what i think you did.. girl, there is nothing to feel guilty about!!!
I don't think you should feel guilty, as long as you didn't do "horrid, illegal" things. What you do is your business.
I have to believe in a loving/forgiving god, or there is none for me. And he knows I've made tons of mistakes, and I'm sure he still loves me in spite of it all.
I was raised a certain way, and came to understand that I acted that way out of being taught, not true believing. I had to find my own way, and right now I'm happy with it.
Guilt is the gift that keeps on giving. The funny thing about guilt is that we learn by our mistakes so if it stops us from making more mistakes then maybe we avoid learning a lot of lessons. Does that make any sense?
We're taught to forgive others but not ourselves..that can only be done by "them"..ah what power.
Guilt Schmilt.
I find it interesting that all of these new-agey thingamabobs are all about loving yourself and forgiving yourself so that you can pay it forward. Martyrdumb be damned eh?
I don't have the answers but it does seem self evident that we need to atleast have the power to forgive ourselves when we screw up..which we do everyday.
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