Tuesday, March 22, 2005

Gas Prices In Northern Illinois

Saturday, March 19, 2005

New Birthday Bike

My son, now 8, got to go shopping for his new bike today. I showed him which ones would be the right size for him and then let him pick. It was a difficult process........The bright blue one? The shiny red one? He finally decided on a electric green & black Mongoose.

When walking it through the store to the checkout you'd have thought he'd bought a new Harley the way he was strutting! He got an even bigger grin as he actually got it out of the store to go to the car. He was too funny - everyone we met in the parking lot on the way to the car wished him a "Happy Birthday", each time his little chest puffed up a bit more. I thought he'd explode before we got home and got it out of the trunk so he could ride it.

Thursday, March 17, 2005

Leprechaun Trap

We (my preschool class and I) set a leprechaun trap yesterday. We baited it with VERY shiny pennies and one gold-foil covered chocolate. We left signs up such as "Do Not Enter" and "Stay Away" because everyone knows that leprechauns don't like to follow directions and are very curious little creatures.

When we came in today, evidence of the little man dressed in green were everywhere! He had been all over our room leaving a trail of gold dust wherever he went. The best part of all - the trap and been set off! We caught him! (or so we thought)

As I carefully lifted the shoebox, the other teacher waited on the other side to catch him in case he tried to make a quick getaway. Alas, upon opening the trap, we discovered he had taken the shiny pennies and had eaten the chocolate coin. To top it off, he left the foil wrapper behind just to mock us!

We were sure he was still lurking about in the room so a little later we started looking around for him only to discover he had turned the toilet water GREEN! About that time, a child saw a little green hat run quickly behind the toilet and we lost him after that.

To learn if he was still in our room or had moved on to another classroom, we decided to make some pistachio pudding. The powder comes out of the box white, but if there is a leprechaun in the room when you add the milk, it turns green. So we set to mixing and would you believe this - IT TURNED GREEN! He was still here in our room!

There were several other sightings throughout the day and a number of children heard him making scratching noises around the hamster cage area at nap time (Hummmmmm wonder if Clover saw the little green man?), but no one caught him.

A child from another room also saw our leprechaun and a friend dash behind a tree on the playground - I was shocked to learn there was another one lurking about.

Maybe we'll catch them next year & get their gold. If they don't give it to us, I have a little boy that wants to keep him in the hamster cage and feed him hamster food and crayons until he tells us where it's buried.

Happy St. Pat's Day everyone!

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

The Next "Survivor" Show

Have you heard about the next planned "Survivor" show?

Three businessmen and three businesswomen will be dropped in an elementary school classroom for 6 weeks.

Each business person will be provided with a copy of his/her school district's curriculum, and a class of 28 students.

Each class will have five learning-disabled children, three with ADD, one gifted child, and two who speak limited English. Three will be labeled with severe behavior problems.

Each business person must complete lesson plans at least 3 days in advance with annotations for curriculum objectives and modify, organize, or create materials accordingly.

They will be required to teach students, handle misconduct, implement technology, document attendance, write referrals, correct homework, make bulletin boards, compute grades, complete report cards, document benchmarks, communicate with parents, and arrange parent conferences.

They must also supervise recess and monitor the hallways. In addition, they will complete drills for fire, tornadoes, and shooting attacks.

They must attend 100 hours of workshops, faculty meetings, union meetings, and curriculum development meetings.

They must also tutor those students who are behind and strive to get their 2 non-English speaking children proficient enough to take the TAKS tests.

If they are sick or having a bad day, they must not let it show. Each day they must incorporate reading, writing, math, science, and social studies into their program.

They must maintain discipline and provide an educationally stimulating environment at all times.

The business people will only have access to the golf course on the weekends, but on their new salary they will not be able to afford it anyway.

There will be no access to vendors who want to take them out to lunch, and lunch will be limited to 30 minutes. On days when they do not have recess duty, the business people will be permitted to use the staff restroom as long as another survival candidate is supervising their class.

They will be provided with two, 40-minute planning periods per week while their students are at activity classes. If the copier is operable, they may make copies of necessary materials at this time.

The business people must continually advance their education on their own time, and pay for this advanced training themselves. This can be accomplished by moonlighting at a second job or marrying someone with money.

The winner will be allowed to return to his or her job.

Saturday, March 12, 2005

Stalkers AKA: My Ex & his parents

Well, after 2 1/1 years of peace, my ex-husband and his parents have found where we live. He knows where I work, the kids school schedule, everything. Can I do anything about it? NO. Just because he has dug into every crevice of my life and knows my schedule better than I do, he's not really stalking me (according to the local law enforcement officials). They all three can call my unlisted phone number, drive by my apartment as often as they wish (even though they know nobody else in this town) and send as many letters to my home as they wish. I can do nothing. None of them have actually SAID they were going to do anything to harm me or my children so I can do nothing. Aparently it does not matter that none of them have any legal rights to me or my children. They can do whatever they want to harass us.

I have taken great pains to hide my actual address. Legally, my address is listed as that of a relative. My phone number is listed under a friends' name. My lease is in a fake name (and my landlord is aware of it, he's very understanding). Yet the fact that my ex-husband was able to dig through all this and find me doesn't mean that he's trying to terrorize us, at least to the legal system it doesn't.

Friday, March 11, 2005

Happy Birthday!!

Happy 8th Birthday Tiger! Mommy loves you!!!!

Thursday, March 03, 2005

The Child From Hell

I have decided the innocent looking little girl that started in my classroom two weeks ago, is definitely, without a doubt, the child from hell.

She will shove kids right in front of you and deny it to the death. She pinches, kicks, trips, and otherwise physically abuses the other children and will innocently deny any wrongdoing.

Today was the topper on the whole thing. My aide is doing a craft project with a few children, I'm working on handwriting with others, the rest of the class is divided up into various play centers. The sweetest little girl in class asks to go to the bathroom, of course, I say yes. I look up a couple of minutes later and Damien's sister is hanging on the bathroom door laughing while Sweetie is in the bathroom crying to get out and banging on the door franticly. The child from hell trapped the little girl in the bathroom! Of course, that's a time-out in the naughty chair.

Not an hour later, a little boy, also very sweet, is waiting his turn in line to go potty before nap time. He squats down to look at something he sees on the floor and the child from hell gives him a swift kick in the butt, knocking him face first onto the floor. Thankfully, he wasn't hurt. Again, another time out.

The afternoon proceeded to get worse, she tried to trip me, then another child. Various questions posed to her were answered with things like "DUH!" "Whatever!" and "HELLO?? Didn't you understand me the first time?" All this kind of mouthy talk out of a four year old child.

I've never seriously considered harming another human being in my life - up until now. My tongue hurts from biting it, my fists are in a permanent clenched position and I've ground my teeth down to little ivory nubs. Geez I love my job some days!!!

Screw the double, I'm drinking the whole bottle tonight!

Wednesday, March 02, 2005

Happy Birthday!

Happy 101st Birthday to Dr. Seuss!

We celebrated today by eating, you guessed it - Green Eggs and Ham!

Green food dye in eggs makes the most disgusting pile of scrambled egg crap you ever seen in your life. Kids EAT IT UP! The grosser it looks, the better it must taste. Which would explain why children eat dirt and bugs but not green beans..........

Tuesday, March 01, 2005

Rabbit, Rabbit!

I have no idea why and can't find the origions of this but it's supposed to be good luck. My 6th grade science teacher, Mrs. Maxon, used to tell us "Rabbit, Rabbit!" the first day of each month. We loved it, thought she was kooky too. Anyway, "Rabbit, Rabbit" everyone!