Illinois Temperature Conversion Chart

@ +70 degrees
Texans turn on the heat and unpack the thermal underwear.
People inIllinois go swimming in the rivers.

@ +60 degrees
North Carolinians try to turn on the heat.
People in Illinois plant gardens.

@ +50 degrees
Californians shiver uncontrollably.
People in Illinois sunbathe.

@ +40 degrees
Italian & English cars won't start.
People in Illinois drive with the windows down.

@ +32 degrees
Distilled water freezes.
The Wabash River water gets thicker.

@ +20 degrees
Floridians don coats, thermal underwear, gloves, and woolly hats.
People in Illinois throw on a flannel shirt.

@ +15 degrees
Philadelphia landlords finally turn up the heat.
People in Illinois have the last cookout before it gets cold.

@ +10 degrees
People in Miami all die...
We from the Land o' Lincoln lick the flagpole.

@ -20 degrees
Californians fly away to Mexico.
People in Illinois get out their winter coats.

@ -40 degrees
Hollywood disintegrates.
The Girl Scouts in Illinois are selling cookies door to door.

@ -60 degrees
Polar bears begin to evacuate the Arctic.
Illinois Boy Scouts postpone"Winter Survival" classes until it gets cold enough.

@ -80 degrees
Mt. St. Helens freezes.
People in Illinois rent some videos.

@ -100 degrees
Santa Claus abandons the North Pole.
Prairie Staters get frustrated because they can't thaw the keg.

@ -297 degrees
Microbial life no longer survives on dairy products.
Cows in Illinois complain about farmers with cold hands.

@ -460 degrees
ALL atomic motion stops (absolute zero in the Kelvin scale).
People inIllinois start saying, "Cold 'nuff for ya?"

@ -500 degrees
Hell freezes over.
The Bears win the Super Bowl!