Love is an irresistible desire to be irresistibly desired.
Robert Frost

I took the 43 Things Personality Quiz and found out I'm a

Self-Knowing Romantic Extrovert

My love of storms led to this photo......and a few more

I've never attempted to take a shot of an electrical storm before because my camera has never had the "photo burst" type of option. No longer! It only took 1148 photo burst pictures to capture my first lightening shots last Friday night as I drove through central Illinois with my friend.

Jail visit & my rantings

Wow! I don't know if I'll ever be quite the same. Saturday morning, I went with my best friend to visit her son in a maximum security jail. I think it was the most frightening day of my life.

We came into a small entryway & had to wait for the guards to buzz us in to the sign-in room. There we each had to provide our full name & address, social security number, drivers license number, relationship to the inmate, & 3 forms of ID. Additionally, my friend had to provide the plate number for her car & a corrections officer searched it. After that was done, we waited to be admitted into the next room.

When we were buzzed in, we were given our ID's back, searched, & sent through the metal detector, then searched again. Apparently, I have metal plates in the arch supports of my shoes & they almost took my shoes away. We couldn't take our ID's in so we had to lock them in up in a little locker along with the car keys. We were not allowed to take anything with us, I even had my chapstick confiscated & locked up until I left the prison. We were buzzed through 3 more doors & passed through an outdoor walkway with 12' cement walls topped with barb & razor wire. Then we sat for 4 hours in a room with 7 guards, 7 other inmates & their visitors. It was horrible.

To top it all off, my friend complains about how her son is treated so poorly for the first hour we're back on the road headed home. News flash here - if he hadn't screwed up in a major way, he wouldn't be there in the first place! Your son gets his laundry done, meals cooked, dishes washed, free cable TV, free room and board, and $10/month for sitting on his butt in jail for breaking the law. And you want me to feel sorry for him???!!!???

I work my butt off at two jobs, raise two special needs kids on my own, attend college full time, do all my own cooking, cleaning, & washing, I can't afford cable TV, I pay my own rent & utilities out of my meager earnings, and no one gives me shit for sitting on my butt all day. To top it all off, I have a crazy ex-husband that stalks me and I don't have an army of fully armed corrections officers protecting my ass 24/7! Do NOT expect me to feel sorry for him because he doesn't like the way he's being treated.

Sorry for the rant, I'm done now.

How much does the human brain weigh?

Well, Alien #2 has been having med trouble for some time now (almost a year). We have switched doctors and our new doc is working to get the right combo of ADHD meds to work for him. The insurance isn't cooperating so much. We finally get a medicine approved and need to increase the dose a little and the insurance throws a fit. This kid has been through 5 med changes in a month. Thanks to the insurance company, we have to keep changing meds because they don't feel the doctor is giving him the correct dose of the medicine. WTF? Who's the doctor here anyway?? I think we finally are getting close to the right dosage. It's about time.

Alien #2 also has ODD (oppositional defiant disorder), it's not pretty. When the ADHD meds aren't working, the child from hell surfaces along with the most obscene vocabulary you've ever heard. I've lost 30 lbs now. Not that I'm complaining, I need to lose the weight anyway.

Stress, however, is never a good way to lose weight. I think part of that is the loss of my mind, how much does the human brain weigh anyway? My sanity doesn't weigh much, but it's gone too. Misplaced with bills I forgot to pay - I'm sure of it.

Alien #1 doesn't help much either. Being the bigger of the two, he feels it is his right and his duty to annoy his brother at every opportunity. This does not make for a good combination. I'd like to kick his a** but at almost 6' tall, I can't reach his butt to kick it anymore! I knew he would be tall, but he's only 14!!

I told my best friend I needed a weekend off. So, she says take off overnight with me & my hubby can watch the aliens while we have a girls night out. COOL!

There's a catch - isn't there always. Now that I've committed myself to going on this overnight, she informs me we're headed 5 hours south of home to visit her son in jail! And this is supposed to de-stress me??? Visiting a convict in a maximum security prison???? Granted, it was minimum security & they upgraded it to max while he was in there. Since he only had a few months left to go, they left him in there rather than transfer him to another jail. Still, I have no desire to go meet her son under these circumstances or any other for that matter. I know what he did and why he's there. If it were one of my aliens, I doubt I'd go visit. The whole situation, it's just too weird.

I must have done something really horrible in a former life. It's the only explanation.

Kitty Litter??

Monday morning the oldest alien (14) comes downstairs to make breakfast the following is the conversation that followed.

Alien #1: Mom, I had the weirdest dream last night!

Me: Really? What about?

Alien #1: We were trick-or-treating.

Me: Well, that's strange for this time of year I guess.

Alien #1: We were trick-or-treating for - get this - kitty litter!

Me: Did you wake up with something dry & crunchy in your mouth??

Rose

My oldest alien showing off the first rosebud of the year last year. That bush got to be almost 6' high!

Raising Cat Food

Spots & Rico will be just that, cat food if the kids leave the cage top off again. Spots has already looked death (aka Sugar) in the mouth (literally) twice and lived to tell about it.

Perfect Landing

This was jump #2799 for my friend. Of course the battery on my camera died for the #2800 jump. Just figures doesn't it?

Sugar baby

This is my baby, Sugar. Isn't that little pink tounge sticking out just toooooo cute????

One final exam left!!! YEA!

I only have one final exam left so I'm taking a little break before I go back to the grind of the study thing.

In my previous post I listed some seemingly unconnected items. However, there is a link. I just finished off my clinical assignment for the semester (student teaching 2 days/week). It's my last clinical semester and I student teach full time in the fall of 2009. I can't wait to graduate. Anywho..... the list of items, all are stories from one of my students in my clinical. JD (not a real name or initials) is in the transition program for the special education students. He will be graduating this year. All these things are stories he has told me. These aren't real things he's done, he just has a great imagination. The "Fish & Slaw House" thing is actually the end of the year picnic the special education program has each year. It has become tradition for one of the higher-ups to bring in all the fish he has caught on vacation & have a huge fish fry for all the kids & staff. And I'm invited!! I love fish - I'm gonna eat my fill this Friday. Come rain or shine, I'm stuffing myself with fried fish. Yummy!!

So much for posting during finals.....

I still have pictures of the mice & cats to post, pics of a friend & skydiving, misc. crap. Had a ton of new templates to work from to update the look of my blog - lost all that crap when I had to delete it to make room for all the final projects & presentations on my 4GB flash drive. Who the heck knew I could fill up a flash drive that size so fast?! I've been so swamped with the end of the semester stuff I feel like I'm chasing myself down to get things done.

It's almost over and then I can put up a real post, but for now I'll leave you with this: What do the following things have in common?

• Riding a giraffe on safari in Africa
• Eating a Chinese fried bug while on the same safari
• Working for 35 years as a security guard at the bank
• Learning to salsa dance in Mexico
• Making Mexican salsa to bring home
• D & P's Fish & Slaw House
• Teaching 5 first graders Sunday School on Friday evenings

Stumped? I would hope so! Ponder the seeming unrelatedness (is that even a word?? it is now!)of these items and I'll update you with the funny story behind them once finals are done for the semester.

I'm nuts

I have no idea what I was thinking. I had the bright idea that the kids would be responsible & could handle having mice for pets. We have cats! Now the cats think we've brought home fuzzy kitty treats.

To top it off, one of the little buggers went crazy & started banging it's head on the top of the cage by jumping up over & over. Two days later it died. The pet store said it had some kind of neurological disorder and replaced it with a new mouse. I'll have to post pics tomorrow, they really are kinda cute.

Hope everyone is having a good week.

Alien Update

I've been battling with my aliens' doctor for over six months now over their meds for the ADHD. Alien #2 is three years younger than Alien #1 and 6o lbs lighter, yet they are on the same dosage of meds for ADHD. This dosage works for Alien #1. Alien #2 is having major trouble and I can't get the doctor to change his meds & try something else.

So..... I've been searching for a new doctor for the boys & I because the one we have sucks. Today we had our appointments with the new doctor and he was fantastic! He's slowing changing over meds on the younger alien and trying something different. I love him!

Feeling very blessed today. Happy Wednesday everyone!

A Winter Wonderland - In March???

Beautiful, isn't it? I love the way the snow clings to the branches of the trees in these pictures. However, what I don't like is this was my backyard on Sunday morning about 8:30!

I live in Northern Illinois so a March or April snowstorm isn't unheard of, but our area got a whopping 6" of the white stuff and at the time of this posting, it still hasn't melted off.



Our cats are loving the birds that are coming to the bird feeder in the backyard in search of a bit of nourishment. They'd rather go for the easy stuff in the feeder than try to dig through snow deeper than they are tall. Oh, well, by this time tomorrow it will all be gone thankfully. We already have flood warnings out and are supposed to have thunder storms tonight sometime after midnight. Don't like the weather around here? Wait a couple of hours - it will change drastically this time of year!

Happy Monday Everyone!

An ADHD moment....

O.K. So, I'm sitting in my blow-off class for this semester, geology 120. Nice guy for an instructor & he does his best to keep things interesting for the hour we're in lecture three days a week. For whatever reason, I've been having some really serious ADHD moments the last couple of weeks and today it hit really hard in class.

He's lecturing along about the Earth's atmosphere & this is what happens:

Carbon dioxide comprises only about 0.03% of the Earth's atmosphere, it is however, one of the most abundant.........(Ewww, sweat marks in his armpits. Gross. Did he forget deodorant today) greenhouse gas in the atmosphere. Venus has a 96%............(I wonder if he has some kind of medical condition........hummm.... maybe he's just nervous today........... nice haircut.........) content of carbon dioxide in it's atmosphere with a surface temp of 460 degrees C. ........(bet everyone noticed his haircut, but I get 3" taken off and one person notices........... well, my hair is a lot longer than his.......) Other greenhouse gases include nitrogen oxide, methane... (don't cows give off methane gas??? We have a lot of cows around the Midwest.....) and even water vapor is considered a greenhouse gas.

After class, I compare my notes with the girl next to me & I actually have more information written down than she does!

A good way to explain an ADHD mind is this (not my analogy but a good one): you have an 80 GIG mind working on 5 MB of RAM. You wouldn't do this to a computer & expect much to happen, but people with ADHD function like this everyday. It can be interesting sometimes.

Have a great weekend everyone!

Looking for a new "look"

I'm starting to feel the need to create a blog that is a little more personalized. Also looking at a new name that is a bit more "me". I'll probably try a few out & get opinions on it before deciding on the one I like anyway regardless of what anyone else says. lol

Having a good Thursday today. Feeling a little hyper (definite ADHD day) but it's all good.

And still not feelin' guilty...... :)

Not feeling guilty..should I feel guilty about that?

Ok, so without going into detail that enters the "TMI" zone, I have done something that I really should feel guilty about. Everything I've ever been taught by my parents, my church, others I respect & love, tells me I should feel guilty. I didn't do anything horrible or hurt anyone, but a small measure of guilt would be appropriate. I don't feel guilty. And I don't care that I don't feel guilty. Should I feel guilty about not feeling guilty? 'Cause I don't.

I'd love to talk with a couple of my good friends about this, but I think they'd be horrified at my small misstep. To them it would probably look like a major fall from God's grace and theirs as well. I'd like to just say, "Listen, I'm human & I make mistakes sometimes. Sometimes I don't do exactly the right thing. Sometimes I completely screw up. And guess what? Sometimes I do things that are downright stupid! So what? Deal with it."

I won't because that's too rude for me to say to those I care about. Because I don't really feel like I can discuss this with those closest to me, I'm feeling very odd. It's hard to describe, I seem to be thinking more & more about what I really believe.

I'm starting to question if what I have been taught is "wrong" or "right" or "justified" really is what I've always thought it was. Did I ever really think/believe something was a particular way or did I just blindly accept it was because that's what I was told. Guess this sounds like I'm feeling down, actually I'm learning more about myself than ever before & I like it. It's kind of a peaceful feeling to just quietly analyze things sometimes. How weird is that?

Crazy weather, Men, & Kids

The weather around here has been nuts! Northern Illinois has some bizarre stuff going on this time of year. One minute it's beautiful, sunny, & near 60 - the next day it's 10 below with a wind chill of -20! Come on Spring - get here fast!!!

Men, well, what can I say? Mr. Not-so-wonderful has given a very good explanation for his behavior and has thus been up-graded to Mr. O.K. A bit more groveling, and a couple more dinners out should fix the bulk of the problem. I can't let him get off too easily so early in the relationship.

Kids - What the heck? Acting like wild monkeys on a massive sugar buzz. This has been a daily thing for about 3 weeks now. I don't know what they've been in but I want some of that sh*t.

Time to quit goofing off & go create a plan to teach a student with severe autism how to work a padlock. Should be fun, she doesn't like the cold metal of the darn thing & we have to use this lock because it's a remote controlled padlock & she can't/won't work a lock with a key. Fun times for me.

Bye all.

Men & Maturity....

... or lack thereof. What the heck is up with guys? Males grow older, this does not necessarily mean they mature. So, when do men actually finish with puberty & start thinking with their brain, not things "South of the border" so to speak?

Why am I so ticked off at men in general??? I've recently been reminded the reasons I don't date. Adult males lacking maturity is at the top of my list right now.

Thanks for letting me vent.